


Castiels View.

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x03, Dean Winchester - Freeform, SPN - Freeform, SPN The Rapture 15x03, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural 15x03, The Rapture, The Rapture 15x03, castiel - Freeform, spn 15x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 07:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21175517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Because I wasn't emotionally stable after that episode. 15x03





	Castiels View.

"You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt," Castiel said not meeting Deans eyes, "Now you can barely look at me," Castiel said finally meeting Deans eyes with a half-smile that meant nothing but pain. Dean had been so cold lately, he did understand but it hurted to see such a trusted friend turn on him like this. He had been Deans win when nothing else could be his win. He had been family. Friend. But of course, times change. Chuck isn't here anymore and Dean doesn't trust him and Jack really is gone. He might as well go find them empty. He knew Heaven was so weak. He felt it every time he used his grace, every time he took a step a part of Heaven disappeared. 

"My powers are failing and I try to talk to you over and over again and you just don't wanna hear it, you just don't care. 'I'm dead to you'." He could see Dean rolling his eyes like he was some annoying mom on those reality TV-shows he had watched a few times. He didn't want to cry in front of Dean. He never really felt like crying, it was such a human thing. But haven't he been human enough to be a human? "You still blame me for Mary."

Dean obviously showed mirrored pain. He nodded silently, agreeing to Cas. 

Cas nodded in understanding, he wasn't wished here any longer. He needed to move on. "Well, I don't think there's anything left to say." He said as he walked backwards to see if Dean would wanna say something before he walked out the door. When Dean didn't say anything he turned around walking slowly away when Dean spoke up. Not sounding welcoming or apologizing, not friendly or open.

"Where are you going?" He sounded cold, pain, a bit worry under all the layers of isolation. Other than that it was as he asked where he was going because Dean was his home and he had never left his side ever. Well, there was the time when he turned God, but Dean found him again. Dean always found him. He just wouldn't this time.

"Jack's dead. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other." He turned around looking at Dean for the last time. Taking in his soul looking at him all pained up yet still beautiful glowing. He remembered first taking him out of Hell, he remembered Dean trying to get him out of purgatory. He saw love in Dean's soul for him once. Now it was just nothing, the pain had filled up all the spaces in his soul to contain love for him. He did still have a love for Sam and his mother and father. But Cas didn't fit in. He saw over the soul and into the green eyes that looked blank. Those beautiful eyes that once had been happy, but had seen too much.

"I think its time for me to move on," Castiel said looking directly into the other man's eyes. Both of them trying to read each other by their soul, which Castiel only could since he actually was an angel that saw souls and true forms and Dean couldn't since he was a human. Castiel left feeling Dean's eyes on him all the way out, the door closed behind him.

\-------------

"Morning," Sam said looking tired from last night. He took the coffee Dean had made him.

"Morn'" Dean just nodded not looking at Sam, his head in a book. Not really reading it.

"Since when did you begin to read books? And wheres Cas?"

"You don't even know, I've been obsessed with books since Kindergarten and I just read in secret. I love books about-" He looked at the title of the book, "- The Tomasch effect in nanoscale superconductors." Dean said looking confused at the title.

"Uh- you're lying and you wouldn't read about that if you read, also wheres Cas?" Sam said sipping his coffee that still burnt the tip of his tongue. Look he'd been shot, stabbed, poisoned, in Hell for years, but papercuts and tongue burns would be the worst kinda pain ever to exist.

"I would read about it. I am now." "Wheres Cas." "I already know a lot about the Thomash effect of super- uh- that," Dean said looking facinated down at the book.

"Answer my damn question, Dean!" Sam said a bit more serious now. Dean didnt say something for a while. He kept avoiding his eyes. He could feel his brother feel ashamed.

"He left." Dean looked pained. Ashamed.

Sam could see all those emotions cause he was one of the few people who could actually read Dean Winchester. "Why? Is he coming back?" 

"Probably not, he said something like, Jacks dead we have each other blah blah blah I need to move on. Then slammed the door."

"Look, Dean," Sam said a bit frustrated. "I know our life is tough right now, there may have been bumps here and there but dont think I havent noticed how you've been treating him. 'Youre dead to me'? The cold shoulder? I know right now havent sucked more, but please you didnt have it to be let out on him. He's also tired and frustrated, we all are go- Dammit! But we need to keep family together. Now we go out and fin-" "Shut up, Sam. Don't you think I know life's tough? It never gets easier for us. I know its not all Cas' fault, and I didn't think. I still dont really think straight now. But if he wants to leave, let him leave. I don't regret saying something goes wrong when he's around." Dean sounded cold and distant.

Sam wanted to slap him. "You said he was the reason for all this? Dean! Why would you ever say- I- Im gonna go for a walk." Sam said taking his jacket on, leaving the coffee to get cold on the table and slamming the door behind him.


End file.
